A Special Mission

You know, I'm so blessed. I don't really know why God showers me with everything. Maybe He has a really difficult mission for me to do in the future that's why he's giving me all this.

Princess Diana accomplished her mission. Sister Theresa was almost a saint for helping hundreds of people before she died. So for us mere human beings, we should not wait for the mission to call us, we have to look for it no matter how obscure it seems to be. How will we look for it? Well, we should always aim to contribute to the world and not just watch it grow worse and worse in front of you. As for me, I smell it strongly. I smell that I really have a big big mission for the world and I have to accomplish it before I say goodbye world.

Anyway, I'm not going to change the color of my blog just because I have all four colors now. Blue is so comforting and it's still a huge thing to accomplish. Not that the others aren't but I love blue.

Here's a picture of the Ateneo (Church of the Gesu) I now keep in my wallet for inspiration and a reminder of that unknown mission I have ...



Anyway, my Interact Club is having a medical mission tomorrow. We're giving away free medicines and free deworming check-up for less fortunate kids. So, y see, it's a matter of living our lives to the fullest.

Naks naman.

Happiness is Like Soap

Happiness is probably one of the most elusive things we would always want to take hold of. Most of the time, it just slips from our hands once we grab it.

What makes me happy, anyway? I don't know exactly and I can't relay it point by point.
=> I don't get happy when I get credits for something I did well. I just become glad.
=> I don't get happy when I'm in school and doing good. I'm just thankful.
=> I don't get that happy when I'm at home & with my family. I'm just relaxed and free and whole.
=> I don't get that happy when I'm with my friends. I just feel complete and stable.
=> I can't say I'm already happy when I laugh out loud or enjoy myself. There's more to life than that.
=> I can't say I'm already happy when I get what I want or things go my way. I'm always just screwing them up a little later.
=> I don't get that happy when I prefer to be alone. I'm an asshole at times but it's just so comforting to be with only myself to hate and love.

You see, happiness is like soap ... yes, it's slippery but it smells good and you need it everyday. Failure to use it is failure to take a bath completely. People can smell you for miles and the stink cannot be taken off easily. You begin to be insecure and paranoid and you start to feel like the whole world is against you ... but really, it's just your smell. So, yes, happiness is like soap.

The surprising thing is ... I'm HAPPY and alive and well. What a nice predictable conclusion that is ... thank you. Pffft.

That Boyfriend Thing Part II

Maybe you can deduce it from my last post. I don't believe in courtship. Many have tried but failed. I don't see courtship as the measuring tool to make a decision about any future relationship. Guys have this innate ability to use courtship as a deception or as a lame way to get girls.

Friendship is not just sentimental, it's essential. I can't imagine myself being in a relationship not preceded by friendship. It's dangerous and it's a risk. They can never understand each other and one of them becomes the follower ... and it's usually the guy. Harhar.

I never really dated. I go out with guys but it's not what you call an official date. I will not date anyone who doesn't become my friend first because no one can say they like you without knowing who you really are. It's silly when guys proclaim they love you before they even hear you fart or belch aloud. What I mean is they don't know me enough so how can I believe that their so-called love's based on more than just feelings?

Another reason why I haven't had a boyfriend yet is that I don't really have enough guy friends and since I don't believe in entering a relationship without adequate friendship, then I can never date anyone outside my circle of friends. Plus, I don't think having a boyfriend is essential. Cut.

Sounds like lame excuses? Deal with it. They're not excuses in my case, they're laws. What do I need a boyfriend for anyway? If people could name one good reason, I'd go for it. So far, they haven't.

That Boyfriend Thing Part I

Since it is the month of the hearts, I feel like blah-blahing about that boyfriend thing.

Look, if my parents are not watching closely or I at least feel a bit of rebellion inside me, I would already have considered having a boyfriend from the start. Many people think I already had one ... well, if I felt that it was right, then until now I'm still having that pending relationship, y know.

I can tell myself that maybe I'm being too idealistic or I'm so absorbed with myself or with my friends or with what I'm doing. You can't blame me, I enjoy what I do even though it doesn't seem right to be this young and be this busy at the same time.

About my having high standards, I'm not sure if that's the right term. Not that I haven't found anyone good enough. Believe me, I have and about a couple of times already. Good. Enough. Not great, that's why.

It's not like I have to hurry. After all ... I'm only sixteen!

[to be continued ...]